This Animal I have Become
by JuliaRosexoxo
Summary: When Fang is captured, he is demanded to kill Max. Of course, we all know that he would never do that. No matter what. But what happens when he can't control himself? What happens when he can't stop himself...from wanting to kill Max? Rated T for safety.
1. Prologue

Prologue

"Are you ready to listen?" I looked up into those evil eyes with my signature glare. I was tired and in pain but I wouldn't let her know that. I might be tied and beaten up, but I can still get out of here.

"I'll listen. But I won't do anything else" I said flatly. The woman in the whitecoat laughed as a tiny smile appeared on her face. "Oh I think you will

"Here's the thing. Max has gotten out of hand. We thought we could control her but we have...failed multiple times. So we've got to eliminate her. Once and for all." I looked up at the lady like she was crazy. Why is she telling me this? I decided to voice my question.

"And you are telling me this...why?" I asked. She turned around, that daring smile still on her face.

"Because you...Fang are going to be the one to kill her."

She has _got _to be kidding.

Break

"You're insane." I said in a flat tone. Her smile just grew and she calmly shook her head.

"Either you do it willingly or we force you." She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

I tilted my head up, "And how exactly do you expect to make me do that? I'd die before I ever lay a finger on her." I replied. It was the truth. I was in love with Max. That would never change. There is nothing in this world that could make me want or need to kill her. Even if it was a fight to the death, between her and me, I would let her kill me. End of story.

"With this Fang" She pulled out a long needle. I looked at her in confusion. But of course she didn't know that. When I show confusion it barely shows in my eyes, let alone my face.

Then it hit me. My eyes grew wide and fear filled my heart. "You wouldn't..."


	2. Chapter 1

**Heyy guys! Here is the first chapter!! I hope you guys like it! It's not that great, sorry. :(**

**Disclaimer: (i forgot this last time! lol) I do not own Maximum Ride or the song Animal I Have Become. It's owned my Three Days Grace. haha :) If you want to hear it i'm sure its on youtube! Cool song! :) **

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* * *

  
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**I can't escape this hell**  
**So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself**

Chapter One

Max

"Max...?" I snapped out of my thoughts and glanced over at Nudge. We were on our way to save Fang. I still can't believe they got him! How could I have been so careless as to let _them_ get by _me_! It's Insane!

"Yes, Nudge?" She had been unusually quiet for the past few hours. We all had. No one knew what to say.

"Do you think Fang is ok? I mean, you don't think that they really hurt him do you? I couldn't live with that! I mean what if he is de-

"Nudge, he'll be fine. I promise" I swallowed and avoided eye contact. Honestly I couldn't promise that. I was just as worried. Probably more. My heart was breaking every second I was away from him. Every second that _they_ had him.

"Yeah...you're right" She whispered and fell back behind me with Gazzy and Angel.

"We'll get him Max" Iggy whispered next to me. He always knows how I feel, even though he's the one that can't see my face.

"Thanks Iggy" I choked. I looked forward. My eyes grew wide as I realized we were here. Already! "We're landing guys! It's about a mile up ahead but we need to rest a minute. Refuel." I called out as I tilted downward. Everyone followed as expected.

* * *

"What's the plan?" Iggy whispered in my ear. We were just outside Itex, hiding in the bushes. As usual, I hadn't come up with one yet but I wasn't about to tell Iggy that. I started thinking, fast!

"Max?" Gazzy called my name softly. I ignored him and tried to concentrate. "Max?" He tried again. I shh'd him this time and closed my eyes. "Max, I got an idea!" He finally burst out. My eyes snapped open and found him.

"What is it Gazzy?" I asked him.

"What if we use some bombs to distract the guards at the door? We can blow up the bomb over here and go hide while they run over. Then we sneak inside." He explained. My heart filled with pride and I had to hold back tears. I'm so proud of my little pyro!

"Amazing plan Gazzy. Let's do it!" I said. He smiled and pulled out two tiny bombs.

"Those are kind of...tiny" I said, instantly disappointed. He looked up at me with an evil glint in his eyes, "Oh are they?" He said and gave a little laugh. Oh Lord, he's turning evil. I internally rolled my eyes and turned to look back at the doors. The guards were still there.

"Ok I'm ready" Gazzy said. He set up the bomb and we all ran about ten meters and hid. "Kaboom" Iggy whispered. I looked at him and not a second later and huge BOOM went off and knocked us all backwards. We quickly picked ourselves up by stayed in a crouch position, watching the five guards run towards the area confused.

"Still they the bombs were small?" Gazzy asked me. I smiled at him, laughed, and answered, "Let's go guys!" We all silently ran towards the doors. Iggy leading the way with Gazzy, Nudge, and Angel trailing him. I took up the back. I kept glancing behind us to make sure the guards were still busy. They never once looked this way.

We got to the door to see that you needed a code to get in. "You're up Nudge" I whispered and pushed her forward. She smirked, placed her hand on the keypad, and closed her eyes. Five seconds later we heard a female robotic voice say "Access granted" and the bolts unlock. "Good job baby girl!" I squeezed her shoulder and we pushed through the door unnoticed.

* * *

I was almost in tears. We had searched almost every room but Fang is no where in sight. "Max..." I looked down to see Angel with a tear sliding down her cheek. "He's dead isn't he?" She choked.

What was I supposed to say? "...I don't know" I whispered. I crouched down and hugged her. That's when it all came loose. I couldn't stop crying. Why? Why would he do this to me? Why did I let it happen? I'm so stupid!

"Max...I found him" I stood up and looked at Iggy. He was standing in a doorway with a smile. "I can hear his breathing. Same as always" He whispered.

"I walked past him and saw Fang. He was collapsed on the floor, unconscious. My heart leapt into my throat and fresh tears poured down my face. He's alive!

"What are you doing here?!" We all spun around to see a doctor. He immediately panicked and pressed the emergency button that was hanging from his neck. Ohhh sh**!

"Iggy, wake up Fang!" I called to him. Seconds later and fifteen guards were on top of us.

"Battle time kids" I said casually. I watched as all the little ones got in their battle stances I softly smiled and followed suit, throwing myself at the two nearest guards.

I threw a punch at the first one that instantly knocked him out. A kick to the head to the other. He went down too. Dang, this is too easy. All the guards were down in seconds. I looked behind me but Iggy wasn't successful in waking up Fang. "What's wrong?" I asked him as I ran over.

"I don't know. He's breathing normal. I just cant wake him up" Iggy whispered. He was clearly confused.

"What? Is he in like...a coma?" I choked. That can't be. When would he wake up?

"No, no. But...it's weird." He whispered. I sighed and grabbed Fang's hand gently. "Please wake up Fang" I whispered and softly kissed his forehead.

"We got company!!" Gazzy screams. I jump up and spin around to see one new guard. He was huge!! It was even intimidating for me. But I shook off the feeling and threw myself at him just as I yelled, "Get out of here guys!" I saw them all hesitate but soon followed orders. They knew that Iggy, Fang and I would be right behind them.

I threw a punch that would knock out a normal human, but this guy didn't budge. He just smiled at me and pushed me, sending me across the room. I hit my head hard as I hit the wall and slid to the ground. I groaned and rolled over just as the man reached me and picked me up by the throat with one hand, pinning me to the wall. He had me up high enough so I couldn't reach the ground. I struggled and struggled but I couldn't get him to loosen his grip. I couldn't breathe!

I opened my mouth and tried to say something but I had no oxygen to speak with. I could see darkness clouding the edges of my vision. This was it. I was going to die. Hopefully Iggy and Fang will get out in time.

Just as I felt myself losing consciousness, I felt his hands loosen and fall away. I fell to the ground, holding my throat and gasping for air. Once I had inhaled enough air, I looked up to see Fang punching the huge guard repeatedly. I slowly stood up and walked over to him, helping him finish this guy off. When he was finally unconscious we just stood there for a moment, staring at him and catching our breath.

I turned towards Fang and attacked him with a hug. I felt his arms wrap around me immediately. "You're alive" I choked out.

"You shouldn't have come" He replied. I pulled back and stared at him in confusion. What did he mean?

"Of course I came. I'll always come for you Fang." I whispered. He gave me a light smile before leaning down and kissing me softly. We pulled apart once we heard a cough.

"Hate to break it to you guys, but we gotta get out of here" Iggy said, staring sightlessly at the floor. I nodded my head before realizing that he couldn't see it, "I'm nodding my head, Iggy. Come on boys. Let's go." I grabbed Fang's hand and led the way out.

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**I hope you liked it! Please Review! The more reviews I get! The faster I will post more!! :) Thank you!! **

**Julia Rose 3  
**


	3. Chapter 2

**Heyy everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in a couple of days. But here it is! Hope you like it! Please leave a review!!! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or the title of this story. It's a song by Three Days Grace. :) enjoyyy  
**

Chapter Two

**So What if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal, this animal**

Fang's POV

I slowly opened Max's door to see her sleeping peacefully in her bed. I took a step in and closed the door soundlessly. I took slow steps to the side of her bed. It was the middle of the night. And the rest of the kids were in the two hotel rooms next door. No one would hear a thing.

I stood at the edge of bed, look down at her small figure. There was a look on her face that was rarely seen. Probably the only time you would see it would be when she is sleeping, like now. Peace. Calm. A sense of safety. Of course none of these live in our waking world, but Max is asleep. So she doesn't know she has anything to fear.

I felt a small yet evil grin form on my face as I slowly placed my hands around her neck. But just as I started to squeeze, she woke up!

"Fan-"

She gasped as I cut her off from oxygen, stopping her from talking. Her hands immediately grabbed mine around her neck and pulled and pulled. But no matter how hard she pulled, I didn't let go. I didn't even loosen.

She started flailing her arms. Before I could see what was happening, she grabbed a lamp on her bedside and hit me across the face with it. I gasped and fell back into the floor. I quickly jumped back up to see her off of her bed, back against the wall, and hands tight around the lamp. "What are you doing Fang?" She asked me in a soft voice. "Why...why are you trying to kill me?" I'm holding on tightly to something in my jacket pocket. I guess I'll have to use it.

I avoid her eyes and let her keep going. "I don't understand...please, Fang, talk to me!" She screamed the last words out and dropped the lamp on the floor. I look straight into her eyes, "I have to Max. I'm sorry." And with that I pull out the gun and point it straight at her heart. I watched as her eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open. "But...why?" She asked softly.

"Because I have to Max. Don't you get it?" I said in a frustrated tone. She shook her head softly and whispered, "No" as a tear slid down her face.

"Well I'm sorry" I whispered back. I watched as she closed her eyes. She was waiting for me to shoot. My finger on the trigger tightened just as she whispered, "I love you Fang." It was my turn to be surprised. My grip on the gun slackened and I almost dropped it.

But I quickly pushed my thoughts away and hardened my grip on the gun. "Goodbye Max" I said...and pulled the trigger.

* * *

I woke up in a sweat. Once I caught my breath, I slowly sat up and slid my legs out of bed, resting my head in my hands. What a nightmare! I could never kill Max...could I? I wouldn't...would I?

I picked up my head to see Max sleeping in the twin bed next to me. We were sharing a hotel room. The Flock had split into three rooms: Angel and Nudge, Gazzy and Iggy, and me and Max.

I stood up and walked the two steps to her bedside. She looked so peaceful. Just like in my dream.

I quickly turned around and walked out onto the balcony. There is no way I could sleep after that. No way!

Is there really a possibility that I could hurt Max? I mean, I haven't felt much different since that injection but maybe it hasn't taken affect yet. I could be dangerous. I always promised Max I would protect her. Shall I have to protect her from myself? But I also promised her I would never leave her again. Will I have to break that promise?

"Fang?" I turned around to see Max in the doorway. She had her usual concerned look on her face. "What are you doing up?" She asked me, walking out onto the balcony beside me.

"I couldn't sleep" I answered her honestly, but avoided her eyes. I might be unreadable to most, but I'm sure she could read into my eyes. She knows me too well.

"Did you have a bad dream or something?" She asked, looking out into the city before us.

"You could say that." I whispered. This caught her attention. She turned her body towards me and I could tell she was trying to catch my eye.

"What was in your dream? What was so bad?" She asked. This time I didn't answer. I just looked out at the city. "Fang...you can tell me. You know that, right?" she stepped closer. I stepped away and avoided her eyes once more. I immediately saw my mistake as I caught her flinch. This caused me to turn towards her and see the hurt in her eyes.

"Max...It was just a nightmare...where you got hurt. I couldn't protect you...and that scares me. It really does" I whispered, staring into her eyes. I saw her eyes soften and she stepped towards me once again. This time I stood still as she wrapped her arms around me. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and let my head fall down onto her shoulder. I could never let her know that it was me that hurt her. It would just scare her off.

I picked my head back up to see Max staring at me with a small smile. I couldn't help myself. I had to tell her, "I love you Max" I whispered. A normal human wouldn't have heard it. But Max isn't a normal human.

Her smile spread wide and her eyes filled with happiness. "I love you too Fang" She replied before standing on her tippy toes and kissing me. I closed my eyes and embraced the moment, making it last. Who knows how many more of these I will have with Max? I might have to leave.

"Come on, let's go back to bed. You need some rest" She said as she pulled me back inside.

No matter what, I couldn't tell Max. She can't know what they did to me. And I can't let it happen. It won't happen. And if I feel like I can't control myself, then I'll leave. It might hurt Max, but it could save her life. And really...that's all that matters.

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**So did you like it? Pleaseeee review! The more reviews I get, the sooner the next post will be!!! :) **

**Julia Rose 3  
**


	4. Chapter 3

**I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself**

Fang POV

BANG!

I shot up in bed. Damn…that nightmare again. It's been a week and I still have the same dream over and over. No matter what I do, I can never stop myself from shooting her.

"You okay dude?" I looked up, startled, seeing Iggy sitting on the edge of his bed. He was putting on his shoes, already showered and dressed.

"Yeah…I'm fine…uhm…tell Max and the others to go down to breakfast without me." I stumbled quickly to the bathroom and turned on the shower faucet all the way up, steaming hot.

I took a long shower, just standing there, thinking. How long would this last? How much longer will I have to put up with it? Most important question is…is it really JUST a dream? Or the future…?

I turned off the water and wrapped the towel around my waist, wincing at the light blue color. I wiped the mirror with my hand and stared at my reflection in horror. Dark eyes…not just my normal black eyes…but cold…harsh….deadly. "You ready for the kill, Fang?" My reflection said.

I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to five before opening them again. Gone. My eyes were back to normal, conveying surprise and confusion, my mouth shut…so what was it?

* * *

Iggy POV

"Where's Fang?" Max asked as I walked into the breakfast area. I could just feel her eyes darting around, looking for him.

"He woke up late. Told me to go ahead and eat." I said as I sat down where the empty chair was. I could tell because it was the place with the least vibrations from movement.

"Huh" Max was struggling. Fang has acted weirder and weirder ever since we rescued him. He grows more distant every day. I could tell it was killing her. Everyone had relaxed when we got him back, but now Max was back to her tense self. She's been trying to find a way to blame this behavior on the school, I think it's just Fang retreating back into himself like he used to. Max doesn't agree. She's determined to find a better excuse.

"Fang!" Max said, her voice giving away relief, "What took you so long?"

"I just had to shower, let's go." He said. He sounded tense.

"But we're not d-"

"Let's just go!" He muttered angrily. He didn't yell, but he might as well have. I could tell that the air was full of tension and confusion. One chair scraped back, from the head of the table (Max) and the rest followed. I was the last to stand as I followed the sound of everyone else's footsteps. We walked for a bit before getting to the edge of town and into the trees. "Up and away guys" Max was quieter than usual. Everyone immediately obeyed. They could tell something was wrong.

* * *

Max POV

"What's wrong with you?" I whispered as low as I could over the sound of the wind whipping past.

"Nothing I'm just ready to get back to the safe house." Fang said tensely. He obviously was holding something from me.

"First, that's obviously not it. Second, who said we were going back to the safe house? It's not even SAFE." I explained. He was making no sense. He suddenly darted down, heading for the ground. I just kind of watched before giving the signal for everyone to land.

"Everyone take a break and grab a snack from you packs. I got to talk to Fang." I said as I started following him deeper into the woods. "What the hell is going on?" I said to him once we got a good distance from the rest of the flock.

"I already told you! Nothing!" He said back, turning to face me.

"We can't go back! It's not safe!" I objected to his first idea when we were in the air.

"It's just as safe as the rest of the world! Don't you get it Max? They will always find us. Always! There is nowhere we can escape! So why don't we just go somewhere we will be comfortable. Somewhere familiar. There's no point with this travelling day to day." He exclaimed.

"It's working so far!" I argued, getting upset. What was going on with him?

"That's just them messing with us Max! They know exactly where we are! They just like to let us feel like we are safe when we aren't. We never are!" He yelled at me. He had anger his eyes. Anger I have never seen directed at me. Not from him.

"Calm down Fang." I said calmly. "There's nothing to get worked up about." He was starting to scare me.

"Oh really? Nothing? So the fact that they found me after running off weeks ago doesn't bother you? We always had thought it was that chip that was following us! That chip in your arm! But when it was removed, they still found us! So I leave, trying to protect you and guess what? They found me! Immediately! I wasn't even attracting attention! So obviously they are tracking ALL of us. EVERY SINGLE MOVE!" He pushed me with each of those last words until he shoved me into a tree. Instead of fighting back like I usually would, I just stared in horror. Where was Fang?

"Fang….please….please…"I choked out a whisper as I felt tears coming to my eyes. This wasn't Fang. At all. There was a blank blackness to his eyes. Not the usual deep eyes, just shallow and angry. Cold. This was NOT Fang.

"Please what Max? Stop? Stop what?" He stepped right up to my faced and glared even more dangerously at me as he fumed.

That's when the first tear fell and I finally broke eye contact. I couldn't look at this monster anymore. I slipped past him and started jogging away. I stopped a minute later to wipe the tears away and pull myself together before returning to what had turned into a minicamp. "Can we stay here the night Max? I'm tired." Nudge said. She kept it sweet and short, knowing I couldn't handle one of her rants.

"Yeah sure" I muttered as I collapsed on the ground next to the fire Gazzy had made. Next thing I knew, I was fast asleep.

* * *

I woke up to a twig snapping. I sat up and glanced over…squirrel. I sighed as I looked around, everyone was there…but Fang still wasn't back. Was he ever going to come back? I stood up and headed back into the trees, walking in the direction that I left Fang. I just stared at my feet as I walked; trusting my instincts to dodge trees and bushes. I didn't know if I would find him or not. Actually, I doubted it.

"Max?" I stopped and looked around, seeing no one. It was so soft it must have been in my imagination. I kept walking, telling my mind to stop playing tricks. "Max…" This time I knew I heard him say my name. I stopped and turned around. Fang was sitting against a tree I had just passed. I looked in confusion. "Sorry" He whispered, "I was too still." Then I understood. He had been so frozen that he disappeared.

"Fang…" I whispered, but stayed put. Was it really Fang? Or…whoever he had been before?

"I'm so sorry" He whispered, bowing his head again. I never heard him sound so broken. I instantly knew it was Fang. There's no way that monster before could sound like that. I walked slowly over to him and sat next to him. "What happened?" I whispered. Fang slowly looked up at me. He looked like he was about to cry. I never saw tears in his eyes before. It honestly scared me.

"I don't know"


End file.
